Ok...
I have come to the conclusion that I lack a purpose in life....I think I had one at
one time, but right now, I have no driving goal towards which I am working.
Rather, I have become lazy.
I don't have a driving goal, mind you, but I do have goals. I just lack the
motivation.
Ideally, I would like to lose a minimum of 30 pounds. I'd like to delve deeper
into spirituality, and I have surrounded myself with the tools, but I lack the
motivation to pick up the books and dive in. I'd like to go to college. But
what would I major in? I thought I wanted to be a translator, but now I find I
want nothing to do with politics or corporations. So who would I translate
for and still make enough money to be comfortable?
Then I thought I would be an actress. Everyone seems to think I would make
a good comedic actress but I don't know. I do know that in order to get
anywhere in theatre, I would have to suffer through a lot of rejection and I react
badly to rejection. I also know that I would be more successful if I could dance
and sing...But I am a horrible singer and it takes me forever to pick up
coordinated dance steps.
I know I don't want to be involved in Corporate America all my life. I'm sick of all
the red tape and office politics as it is. The amount of bullshit generated from just
one manager is enough to burn a hole in the ozone layer the size of Australia...
It would be nice to have some sort of job from which I could work from home....
I just hope that if that ever happens, I don't become like my mother and live my
work. She was so stressed that she made everyone around her miserable. Plus,
as much as I project the reputation of being anti-social, I still like to go out every so
often and have fun with fun people. Of course, my idea of fun people varies greatly
from most people my age. I don't drink so much. I don't really like being in a
situation where I am expected to drink, be uninhibited, and possibly go home with
some guy who's very impressed with himself or something...
I like conversation. Most especially the kind where it seems there's a meeting of
minds and everything is something you and the person you are speaking with is
something in common, but I have yet to find that....I've come close, but no cigar.
I suppose I am idealistic in that regard. It's going to be impossible to find someone
so like me that we agree on everything. And probably if I met that person, I would find
them so narcissistic and egotistical that I couldn't stand them....
I have come to the conclusion that I lack a purpose in life....I think I had one at
one time, but right now, I have no driving goal towards which I am working.
Rather, I have become lazy.
I don't have a driving goal, mind you, but I do have goals. I just lack the
motivation.
Ideally, I would like to lose a minimum of 30 pounds. I'd like to delve deeper
into spirituality, and I have surrounded myself with the tools, but I lack the
motivation to pick up the books and dive in. I'd like to go to college. But
what would I major in? I thought I wanted to be a translator, but now I find I
want nothing to do with politics or corporations. So who would I translate
for and still make enough money to be comfortable?
Then I thought I would be an actress. Everyone seems to think I would make
a good comedic actress but I don't know. I do know that in order to get
anywhere in theatre, I would have to suffer through a lot of rejection and I react
badly to rejection. I also know that I would be more successful if I could dance
and sing...But I am a horrible singer and it takes me forever to pick up
coordinated dance steps.
I know I don't want to be involved in Corporate America all my life. I'm sick of all
the red tape and office politics as it is. The amount of bullshit generated from just
one manager is enough to burn a hole in the ozone layer the size of Australia...
It would be nice to have some sort of job from which I could work from home....
I just hope that if that ever happens, I don't become like my mother and live my
work. She was so stressed that she made everyone around her miserable. Plus,
as much as I project the reputation of being anti-social, I still like to go out every so
often and have fun with fun people. Of course, my idea of fun people varies greatly
from most people my age. I don't drink so much. I don't really like being in a
situation where I am expected to drink, be uninhibited, and possibly go home with
some guy who's very impressed with himself or something...
I like conversation. Most especially the kind where it seems there's a meeting of
minds and everything is something you and the person you are speaking with is
something in common, but I have yet to find that....I've come close, but no cigar.
I suppose I am idealistic in that regard. It's going to be impossible to find someone
so like me that we agree on everything. And probably if I met that person, I would find
them so narcissistic and egotistical that I couldn't stand them....
